Journey To Kavanna

Our first cruise...

2010-12-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

Getting ready to board the ship...

Two sick girls on the mend, at the end of the cruise

The view of Cabo San Lucas from our stateroom balcony

Our ship (on our way to the beach in Mazatlan)

Swimming with dolphins in Cabo

Eating a raw coconut at Stone Island in Mazatlan

One of the formal nights on the ship

A restaurant in Puerta Vallarta (David was drinking a lot of.... Pepsi)

DAY ONE: Ariel got a kidney infection on Monday and went on antibiotics.

When we went to the childcare center, the woman there was distinctly unfriendly to Kavanna. She glared at her, which made Kavanna cry. The woman said to David, who was holding Kavanna, "Take her over there until she calms down."

From that point on she refused to go to the kids club, which was a huge part of why we chose to go to the cruise. We had no time for ourselves the entire trip, except for one dinner when Lori looked after her.

DAY TWO & THREE: Ariel was able to swim with dolphins on Tuesday in Cabo but the next day she felt sick all day while we were at the beach in Mazatlan. I took her back to the ship doctor and she was diagnosed with the flu, necessitating different antibiotics.

She was in bed in our room, not the one she was to share with Lori (she wanted to be with Mom while she was sick), so David slept on the floor the entire cruise and I slept with the girls in the bed) until yesterday. Except for swimming with dolphins in Cabo, and a day at the beach in Mazatlan when she felt terrible, she had zero vacation.

DAY FOUR (THANKSGIVING): Kavanna got a 104 degree fever so we spent Thanksgiving in the ship medical facilities. She had an IV with antibiotics, cold packs, and two nebulizer treatments, plus an xray that determined she had bronchitis, probably gotten from Ariel.

The whole time, this Romanian nurse was telling Kavanna, "Stop crying! You are ugly when you cry!"

We got back to find there was a problem with our backyard sprinkler, that went off despite being turned off, and our yard is flooded... And then, Kavanna got diarrea, probably because of the antibiotics.

Generally it was a disaster of epic proportions. It was so bad that it comes all the way around to being funny.

Next vacation, we're staying home!

Photos!!

2010-11-10T09:19:00.000-08:00

Princess Kavanna at a princess birthday party!!

She doesn't really know the story of Cinderella... she wanted to go as Cinderella for Halloween because she liked the dress!

At Kavanna's third birthday party...

Princess Cake for the birthday princess!

Birthday Girl Kavanna at her party! Wheeeeeee!

Daddy, Kavanna and Mommy (Ariel took the photo)

"Look, I can do the splits!"

For some reason, pumpkin patches brought out the exhibitionist in Kavanna.

Face painting at the Halloween Festival (she's a flower).

Kavanna is three years old!! She's a feisty, smart (really, really, smart... scary smart!), affectionate, loving little girl with a ready laugh, who loves to play with her friends, to read (especially the newly discovered Mo Willems books), and to dress up. Her favorite color is pink, pink and more pink! She has a huge crush on Ariel's boyfriend, Nick, whose only competition is Diego from the Nickelodeon TV show. She recently informed us, "I'm crushing on Diego."

Our family is complete and we are having so much fun together!!

Now... and then.

2010-09-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

Kavanna always has a smile on her face... She's excited about Halloween this year, and this is her "Princess Dress" as she calls it (also known as a Cinderella costume).

Two years ago today, we saw Kavanna's smiling face for the first time. As David put it, she's been like a shot of pure love into our family.

Where did the last 3 1/2 months go???

2010-06-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

I recently was reminded (thanks, Alyson!!) that I'm behind on my posting... so here are a few photos from the past few months. I'll try to be better at posting... and at actually logging onto Facebook... and looking at other people's blogs.

Some cute things Kavanna has said:

When I told her she was cute, she said, "No cute, mama. Beautiful!!"

Her song lyrics: "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the street..."

Every third sentence is, "My do it! My do it!"

She told Ariel, referring to me, "No Ariel's mother. My mother!"

When Ariel said, "If mommy is not my mother, then where is my mother?"

Kavanna thought for a moment and then said, "China!"

Ariel said, "Are we sisters?"

"No," replied Kavanna.

Ariel persisted. "We're not? We're not sisters?"

"No, said Kavanna. "Princesses."

And there you have it.

Ariel is doing really well. She switched into a new school that is much smaller than her previous one, with an art emphasis, and is thriving. She has a whole new group of friends and her grades are awesome (straight As, yeah!!).

Grandma Lori moves in with us on Friday. We're excited!

Playing with friends...

Seeing art at the Museum of Modern Art

Art is in the eye of the beholder...

Nina and Ariel on Mother's Day

Kavanna and Nina on Mother's Day

Kavanna and Grandma Lori (no, she's not going into the ring for a fight; this was taken right after K's bath...)

What does a nice Jewish Chinese girl do on Easter? Hunt for eggs, of course!

Resting after the Great Egg Hung

Our friend Gregg at Passover...

Year of the Tiger!

2010-03-02T14:23:00.000-08:00

All ready for Chinese New Year.

Di & Dave and their daughter Sophie

A pensive moment. What is Kavanna thinking? (Mommy is thinking, "Kavanna is soooo cute!", and more on this in a moment...)

Okay, here's the cute Kavanna story: We're on our way to the FCC Event and I said, "Kavanna, you look so cute!"

She said, "No, cute. No cute, Mama. Beautiful."

Is that the cutest... er, most beautiful... story ever, or what?

Happy 2010!!

2009-12-29T13:50:00.001-08:00

Kavanna's readoption ceremony was last week. Here we are with the judge, who completely freaked out Kavanna for some reason, even though he was really nice and even gave her a teddy bear!

As to the new year: Shouldn't we all be driving around in cars that fly? Or wearing jet packs? When I think "2010" I think futuristic. Is it just me?

Happy Holidays!!

2009-12-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

I love my two beautiful girls!

Happy Hannukah!

Dinner with our friends Marty & Elisabeth and their new baby... This photo is deceptive because Ariel is on a lower level of the house... she's actually now taller than I am!!

Whether you celebrate Chanukah/Hannukah, Christmas or Kwanza, have a wonderful holiday!!

Delighted!

2009-11-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

Kavanna just LOVES to go on the swings at the park. We love her peals of delight!

Happy Birthday, Kavanna!!

2009-10-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

Kavanna flashing our friend Di (Sophie's mom!!)

Kavanna is perpetually in motion!

Except for when I can scoop her up into my arms :)

Elmo is big at our house.

A megaphone also works as a hat!

Wheeeeeee, Kavanna loves the trampoline!

Congratulations, Di & Dave!

2009-10-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

My dear friends Di & Dave finally got their referral for their beautiful daughter Sophie! She is sooooooooo cute!! If the link doesn't work, check her out at www.sophieonmymind.blogspot.com. I'm so thrilled for Di and Dave, and for Sophie, who is lucky enough to go to such amazing, loving and wonderful parents.

A trip to the zoo

2009-10-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Our first trip to the zoo together... The Guangzhou Zoo, about a year ago.

Our second trip to the zoo... This was Kavanna's favorite part - the train ride around the zoo!

Ariel got to feed a giraffe. Giraffes have black tongues and are skittish. And they love snacks!

A fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon...

Kavanna is 23 months today!

2009-09-29T08:49:00.001-07:00

Ariel at her regular Friday night gig, playing acoustic guitar and singing her original music. We're so proud of her!

Kavanna at a Pinkalicious party... check out the pink hair (unlike her sister's red hair, the pink washes out!)

Very focused on drawing with that pink crayon...

Look at this mature expression... our wise toddler-ette!

I blinked and the month passed. Ariel is doing well in school and her songwriting is really evolving. She was asked to write a song as part of an ad campaign proposal and she just shot her first music video. We're so proud of her! She's also studying to take her drivers permit test... yikes. I'm anxious just thinking about it. My baby, driving? Whaaaat?????

Kavanna is talking like crazy and delighting us with her funny, smart personality. Last night Ariel said, "I love you, Kavanna" and Kavanna said, "I love you, too." I just want to kiss her cheeks and squeeze her chubby thighs all day long. She was chosen to be a model for a new line of baby shoes called Shupeas and did a commercial shoot a few weeks ago. She's also sleeping through the night in her own crib. I repeat, sleeping through the night in her crib.

It only took ten months before that momentous event took place. More on that later.

I'm hoping that my wonderful friends Di and Dave get their referral this week... today would be a good day! Their daughter Sophie has waited long enough for her parents... I can't wait to see them all united. My heart goes out to everyone waiting.... may you get good news soon!

Worth the wait

2009-09-02T09:59:00.001-07:00

One year ago today we saw Kavanna's face for the first time. She has brought so much love, laughter and joy into our already rich and fulfilling lives... she is a true blessing to our family and worth every minute of that horrendous wait.

Kavanna a couple of weeks ago

Kavanna's referral photo (she was six months old)

It's a girl thing!

2009-08-12T08:40:00.002-07:00

No shoe is safe in our house. Take off your shoes at your own risk... Miss Kavanna Lin will find them and wear them. And she walks in pumps with surprising ease.

She looks equally good in Ariel's jelly flats.

Or Ariel's old cowboy boots, bought in Dallas many, many years ago.

"These boots are made for walkin'......"

Shoes are the ultimate accessory.

Kavanna is talking!

2009-07-28T17:08:00.000-07:00

Kavanna is always in motion, even while wearing Mommy's flip flops!

So cute!
Kavanna has been talking for a while. Some of her words are absolutely correct and some of them are hilarious interpretations.

Her first word: Ariel (pronounced "Ay-el")

What she says perfectly: mommy, dada, more, no, hello, apple. And did I mention her favorite word, "no"?

Also:
A cow says "booooo" instead of "moo".
A cat says "now" instead of "meow"
Juice is "jew" (well, when she yells "Jew" in our house she's always right!)
A phone is a "hello"

A puppy is a "buppy"
When something falls, it's "uh-oh!"
A bottle is a "baba"
Her blanket is "nana"
Best of all, "I love you" is "Ah luh ooooo"

She has created her own sign language.:
An attempt to snap her fingers means, "put on some music"
Pointing to a couch or a chair means, "sit here, now"
Making a sign for milk, followed by touching her ear means she wants her formula, as opposed to milk. She came up with this at 12 months. She has a bottle at night which David would make and bring into the bedroom. I'd wait with her and put my hand to my ear, telling her, "Let's listen for Daddy".
One day she was signing for milk so I gave her some milk, which she rejected. She made the milk sign, followed by touching her ear, to let me know exactly which kind of milk she wanted. Brilliant!

See this happy face?

2009-07-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

Kavanna was not so happy last Sunday when we went to the Bastille Day Festival. Everyone parked at the stadium and big white vans took us to the festival. As soon as we got into the van Kavanna started to tremble and look frightened. We think that the day her foster mom took her to the orphanage, a white van drove her and the other babies from the orphanage to Nanning, where she was placed into our arms... We think she remembered the van and was afraid her life was about to change again. We just hugged her and told her we were all going to stay together. She clung to me in what can only be described as terror. Later, on the way back to the parking lot, she was much more relaxed.
She is a happy girl, very smart, very joyful, friendly and outgoing... but the past trauma is still there, and unpredictable things can trigger it.

Happy Bastille Day

2009-07-14T09:03:00.001-07:00

Ariel and Kavanna dancing in front of the crowd as Ariel's friend Ariana sings at the Bastille Day Festival over the weekend.

It's Africa hot but Kavanna still must bring "Nana" (her blanket) everywhere she goes.

She loves to wear shoes... other people's shoes, that is! The adorable tie-dyed outfit was originally Ariel's. I'm so glad I saved it!

These flipflops are almost as big as she is!

Got shoes... and she's on the go!

Great weekend!

2009-07-06T08:45:00.001-07:00

(this is a photo from April that I never posted but I love her pensive cutie-pie-ness)

These are just some photos from my phone... .more to come. We had a wonderful time with Di and Dave, and their friend Renee who was visiting from Philly (I say that as if I'm comfortable with the term "Philly", although to be honest I've never been to Philadelphia - Pittsburg is as close as I've gotten - and never had a cheese steak sandwich, either... so there you have it), and our friend Val, with her sister and kids.

Kavanna was not too sure about the fireworks :)

The dress is a gift from my parents, who just got back from a holiday in Malaysia.

Ariel spent the weekend at a friends beach house in Malibu. She's living the life!

Hope everyone had a great Fourth!

Trying to fill Ariel's shoes... literally

2009-06-22T08:40:00.001-07:00

Look, Ariel's shiny, pretty green patent leather shoes. I want to wear them! I want to be a big girl. I have my "purse" (a small shopping bag) and I just need some cool shoes. Then my look will be complete.

Ta da!!

And Happy Father's Day to all the daddies out there...!!

It's a good thing she's cute...

2009-06-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

...because she doesn't sleep and she occasionally poops in the bathtub (that's Kavanna I'm talking about)!! It occurred to me that seen through the lens of this blog, our lives seem effortlessly blissful. Truth is we do have our moments of bliss, but parenting a teenager and a toddler has its challenges as well as its rewards.

I don't have to be a political prisoner to know that sleep deprivation is torture. Tomorrow is the seven month anniversary of Family Day and we've slept through the night exactly.... once. That would be our first night with Kavanna when she actually slept through the night (probably from sheer emotional exhaustion). Currently she's teething in a bad way, four molars and four incisors and she wakes up every twenty minutes howling in pain. The rest of the time she's kicking me in the head. She starts off in her crib and ends up in our bed...

I am living on caffeine.

Ever notice how much the subject of poop gets discussed once you become a parent? What's that about? Kavanna now informs us when she needs her diaper changed by patting her tush and announcing, "Poop."

As for the bath incident... ah, there are no words. I just try to keep my sense of humor, and a bottle of 409 cleaner, close at hand.

Daddy & Kavanna get ready to take a walk. Nice shades, dude! Nice shades, dudette!

Kavanna loves her Daddy.

Kavanna loves Ariel but she gets squirmy when it's time to sit still for a photo. Kavanna doesn't like sitting still. Why sit when you can run and jump and whirl like a dervish?

Kavanna gets a big kiss from a very big and very sweet dog named Max.

Topanga Days

2009-05-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

We had such a fun Sunday... dim sum with our friends Di & Dave (who bought Kavanna a toy panda bear that she absolutely loves) and then we went to the Topanga Days Festival, which meant stepping back into time back to the 60s or 70s... Ariel took off her shoes, bought a pair of fairy wings, put a flower in her heair and we all danced to a Grateful Dead cover band. Kavanna pet a three month old pet piglet and had a grand time. Life is good!

From Oprah.com

2009-05-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

8 Things Never to Say to an Adopted Child

By Elizabeth Cuthrell

Most likely, no one who has approached my family and asked us personal questions has meant any harm, but they do assume that an adopted child's background is available for public discussion, and not subject to the same sensitivity or restraint due any child. My girls are not immune to the self-consciousness all children feel being scrutinized. The best expression of support for my family is to respect our differences by not calling attention to them. There are many adoption agencies and adoption Web sites with tons of information. Unless you are a friend or relative of an adoptive family, it's best to look there for answers.

Someday, I hope, we'll live in a world where racial or sexual or familial differences don't matter because we'll have achieved the understanding that one kind, or one way, is not necessarily better than another. As for now, I fear we routinely call unneeded attention to these differences. For example, why are Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise's kids described as their "adopted kids"? Why aren't they just identified as "their kids"? Or why did the press write that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were expecting their first child when they already have a son and a daughter? What's next? "Angelina and Brad's biologically born child joins their adopted son and adopted daughter." Or "So-and-so's donor-egg-born son joins their gestationally carried, IVF-born daughter." We don't refer to how biological children become a part of their families, so why do we point out adoption?

There are exceptions. A few weeks ago, Willa was a flower girl in my sister's wedding. At the beauty parlor where the bridal party was having their hair done, I introduced Willa to the hairdresser. She looked at my daughter and said, "Hey, Willa, are you adopted?"

Willa answered, "Yes, from China."

I touched Willa's shoulder protectively to remind her that, if needed, I was there to help navigate the encounter.

"So am I," beamed the hairdresser. "Isn't adoption the coolest?"

Willa looked at me and smiled. "Yep. It's totally cool."

Elizabeth Cuthrell is a screenwriter and producer living in New York City.

Bikini weather!!

2009-05-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Always apply sunscreen before the pool!

And drink plenty of fluids if it's hot outside!

Ooooooh, the water feels fine!

Kavanna didn't want to get out!

More from Mother's Day

2009-05-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day!!

2009-05-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Nina and her girls!

David wearing Nina's glasses and doing his interpretation of The Thinker.

Nina, Kavanna and Ariel, doing her interpretation of the teenager from hell.

Ariel doing her interpretation of Munch's "The Scream" (it's what happens when you're fifteen years old and have a very active baby sister)

Kavanna (who is feeling just fine these days) already has a thing for jewelry

She is just sooooo cute!

Sisters at home.

To everyone who is waiting to become a mom for the first time, I hope your wait ends soon. To everyone who became a mom for the first time this year, congratulations on your first Mother's Day. And to all who added to their families this year, enjoy your many blessings. For me, every day feels like Mother's Day with my two beautiful and spunky girls.

2009-05-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

Kavanna is recovering from pneumonia (she'll be fine and has made an extraordinary recovery). She had a cold on Wednesday and was so backed up she literally had snot coming out of her eyes. There's no way to say that other than that. Truly gross. We went to the doctor fearing conjunctivitis but were assured that she was fine, just so congested that stuff was coming out of other orifices.

Friday she woke up from a nap with a fever that kept climbing despite tylenol. We ended up at pediatric urgent care. She has a fever of 105 and her oxygen was low. They did a chest x-ray and found pneumonia. It was a very scary few hours.

Thanks to the miracle of antibiotics she is on the mend and was 100 percent better by the next day. We just came back from the doctor, who said she's making a great recovery.

It's almost impossible to believe that it was just over six months ago that we became a forever family... she's such a joy in all our lives. Holding her while she was burning up with fever was one of the scariest moments in my life. I'm so grateful that she's going to be okay. Kids are so resilient!

2009-04-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

Kavanna had a lot of fun on her first Easter Egg Hunt today... What else does a nice little Chinese Jewish girl have to do on a beautiful Sunday morning during Passover?? The dress she's wearing was Ariel's. I saved it for fifteen years. I just KNEW I'd have another daughter!!

Kavanna and David checking out all the eggs she gathered.

David & Dave... quite a look, dontcha think?

Our friends Dave and Di who are waiting for Sophie. I can't wait for their referral!!

And here are some photos from the Seder we had at our house on Wednesday night. Kavanna's first Seder!!

Nina and her two daughters!! Ariel is now TALLER than I am (and I'm 5'7"). Yikes.

BFF Elisabeth with me and Kavanna... and yes, that is a fork Kavanna is holding in her grubby hand. Another yikes.

Kavanna in mid-whirl... she's in constant motion!

Gathering before the big dinner... my friend Andy (in orange) probably just made a joke, which is why Lisa is doubling over, hopefully in laughter and not pain.

Happy Holidays to all.

morning photo shoot

2009-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

"Again with the camera?? Mommy (or as Kavanna calls me, "Da Da"), enough!"

If someone asks Kavanna where Mommy is, she'll point to me or hug me, but she calls me "Da Da". I'm getting a complex :) She calls Ariel "Ay-El" and she calls David "Da Da". She also notifies us when she has a poopy diaper and barks when she sees a dog. She's a constant source of entertainment.

"You want me to smile? Is that it?"

"Okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Update on Ariel: she has a giant boot cast thing on her leg and has to go to physical therapy for six weeks, but the silver lining is she doesn't have to go to P.E. so she's happy. The boot simply does not go with her outfits, and it's heavy to clunk around in, but she's got a good attitude about it.

Hectic few weeks

2009-04-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

"It's early. I'm tired. I'm teething. Why do you want to take my photo?"

"I'd really rather go back to sleep. Ahhhhh, this carseat is really comfy..."

"What, you're still there? Why must you torture me like this?"

"I'm hiding. Now you can't see me and I can't see your silly camera!"

"Okay, I'll favor you with one small hint of a smile...."

I've been MIA because we've been really busy.
Ariel fell (while walking - yes, walking) and tore a ligament in her ankle, so she's was lying on the couch all weekend and in a lot of pain. She has crutches and needs to be in a brace for a month. Then she got the stomach flu and has been nauseous and home from school for two days. It basically sucks to be her right now.

Kavanna has molars coming in and she's NOT happy about that. Otherwise she's doing great, starting to say a lot of words (okay, only we can understand that when she says, "I" and points to the fireplace she means "fire" and when she puts her hands up and says, "Ahhh" she means "hot" but she's talking, I say!!).

Sleep? Who needs.... yawn... sleep.... zzzzzzzzzzz

2009-03-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

David and Kavanna shop for groceries every Saturday morning. The other day she just zonked out and stayed asleep for about an hour. Now why can't she sleep that peacefully and soundly in her crib?

I mean it, I am so NOT a morning person!

2009-03-23T21:51:00.001-07:00

Oh wow, I really slept in! Nine o'clock in the morning? Seriously??

Ohmigosh, just how many milks did I drink last night? I can't remember? Is that a bad sign? Wait. A girl can't have enough milk. Milk does a body good!

You know, I'm feeling sleepy again... Mommy & Daddy are taking me on a walk right now. I think I'll go back to sleep so that I can stay up tonight and torture them. Yeah, that's my genius plan. I'm going to stay up until at least eleven o'clock tonight. Shhhhhh, not a word to them.

And, zzzzzzzzzz......

I am not a morning person!!

2009-03-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's seven o'clock in the morning? Why am I in my car seat?
I need a baby Starbucks or something. Please, people! I was up until 10 o'clock last night. I'm teething. Have you no mercy?

Aggghhhh, the indignity of being a baby. Where's my bottle?

I like to eat everything... even a business card.

Check out the gams!

2009-02-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

Why are "legs" called "gams"? Well, it's not exactly a word you hear a lot these days unless you read Raymond Chandler novels or watch film noir movies from the 40s. Which I do in my... ahem, spare time. "Gamba" is Italian for legs, so maybe it comes from that.

In any case, check out these most adorable little pudgy legs! I could just eat them up! Which, when you think about it, is another very odd expression.

Five Wonderful Years!

2009-02-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

February 22 is our anniversary and last Sunday we celebrated five wonderful years at the same place where we were married. Since we started talking about adding to our family on our honeymoon, it was so wonderful to celebrate this anniversary with both our daughters!

Valentine's Day!

2009-02-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

Miss Kavanna Lin had a great Valentine's Day!
Last week at her healthy baby 15 month check-up I discovered she had a bad ear infection, and she's been on antibiotics ever since, poor poppet. She's her normal feisty self and perkier than ever. Check out her cute red personalize pajamas (a present from Daddy).
She's always on the move. I believe if her energy could be harnessed, she could possibly supply energy to an entire country. Hence the lack of focus in these photos...

Fear & Gratitude

2009-02-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

My grandmother had breast cancer and as a result I started having mammograms at 35 and I have them yearly. There's never been an issue. Last Wednesday I went in for my annual mammogram. I left the facility at 3 o'clock. At 5 o'clock I got a call from someone at the women's center.

She said, "Your mammogram was abnormal. You need to come back for some more views and an ultraound. Don't worry, this happens all the time."

I heard, "You have cancer. You will die."

I thought, "I won't see my children grow up."

I went into research mode. I like to anticipate the worst possible outcome so that I can plan on what do do next. It gives me the illusion of control.

My follow-up was scheduled for Monday afternoon, which meant that last weekend was one of the longest weekends of my life. I tried to stay busy and keep my mind from thinking catastrophic thoughts. I have a tendency to be something of a hypochondriac so it wasn't easy. When I was 15 I had a headache and was convinced it was a brain tumor. You know Woody Allen's character in Hannah & Her Sisters? That's me.

I also realized what I wasn't thinking - no coulda/woulda/shoulda regrets. Nothing like, "If I had just done... (fill in the blank)...". I only felt grateful I am for the life I have, exactly how it is, and how I just want more of what I have.

Over the weekend, breast cancer was everywhere I look. A patient told me she just found out a friend died of breast cancer at the age of 29.

I pulled into the parking lot of Babies R Us and parked next to a car with a "Save The TaTas" sticker.

Every time I put on the TV I saw the Kaiser ad for mammograms, with the song, "When I grow up I want to be an old woman..."

It was a long freaking weekend.

Monday at 3 o'clock. I had the follow-up mammogram. The technician told me to wait for the ultrasound.

I waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally I got to the ultrasound room. I watched the screen, convinced that my breast was full of cancerous blobs. I said, hesitantly, "Do you see anything?"

After a long pause (that could have been a millisecond) she said, "I don't see anything."

The radiologist confirmed that all was fine. Whatever they thought they saw last week was no longer there.

I can't describe the relief. This experience has made me even more grateful and appreciative for my amazing husband and daughters... and for my friends.

And if someone out there is putting off having a mammogram, make the call today. It could save your life.

Our amazing friend Di...

2009-01-27T14:19:00.001-08:00

When we started this journey to Kavanna we thought we were just adopting a baby from China. Turned out we were joining a community of people around the world and that our lives would be enriched not only by the addition of our wonderful daughter, but by the people we've met on our journey. One of them is Sophie's mom, Di.

Some of you may know Di because she and her husband Dave began the petition which successfully helped keep a lot of people's adoptions on track. She's also a talented writer and baby-clothes designer and professor... and more. Somewhere out is a baby who will be lucky enough to have her as a mommy. David and I have really enjoyed getting to know Di and Dave over the last couple of years and we're really happy that we're now practically neighbors.

As I write this, Di is at my house taking care of Kavanna while David tries to meet a work deadline imposed on him suddenly (a project due in three weeks is now due on Friday). And when I say Di is "taking care of Kavanna", I don't mean playing nice little games of pattycake. I mean, holding Kavanna and rocking her as she screams her little lungs out. Kavanna is feeling better physically but she wants to be with her daddy, who needs to meet his deadline.

Di read my blog post earlier and called me to volunteer her help... Amazing!!

Di, I can't thank you enough. You rock!! And we owe you dim sum in Chinatown every Sunday for a year :).

Sick baby...

2009-01-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

Kavanna has two teeth breaking through her gums, so when she was crankier than usual on Sunday I attributed it to teething. She had a slight fever, which she always does when new teeth are coming.

I took her to Montessori day care as usual yesterday and when I came to pick her up they informed me she had been unhappy all day and had a fever of 100. I said it was probably teething and they looked at me as if I was a bad mom. Okay, this is completely my own projection or fear (I think) but I felt as if they were thinking, "Why is she not more concerned about her baby?". They needed a doctor's note before they let her come back to school.

By some miracle I got an emergency appointment with the doctor and by the time we got there, Kavanna had a temperature of 102. She was listless and just lay cuddled against me, which made me feel incredibly helpless... They tested her for the flu and checked her for all kinds of other thing (walking pneumonia is going around) but determined she just had a bad cold. I told the doctor that she always has a high fever when she teethes and he said it was a coincidence. And yeah, I thought he was thinking I was a bad mommy, too.

Why did I want it to be teething? Is it partly because teething is a natural process of development and not sickness... or is it partly because I was thinking about myself, about how we'd deal with childcare if she were sick? The truth is, it's both... and I feel like a bad mommy for having any thoughts whatsoever about how her illness is impacting us, even as my heart aches for her when she is unwell.

She woke up today with no fever and seems almost her normal self, but David is staying home with her for two days... he's missing a very important meeting and there may be consequences. Apparently in this economy, missing two days of work because you have a sick child is not good in the corporate world. I can't take more time off or my practice would suffer... So really, we don't have any options. We have no family around us and all our friends work, and of course Kavanna is the most important thing... but at times like this I realize how hard it is to juggle parenthood and profession.

There's some accusing voice in my head saying, "Forget being a professional woman with your own private practice. You should be home with your child all the time!!"

I keep fighting that voice but it's still there. I keep arguing with it (a full time therapist only works about 25 hours a week to avoid burnout so I really only work part time, etc., and giving up my income is not an option either)... but it remains loud in my head.

Most of the time our schedule works great. Kavanna loves Montessori. She's there half the day and with us the rest of the time. I think she'd be bored at home because she loves the interaction and all the kids. But at times like this I definitely question myself.

My mother's generation fought for women's right to choose whether or not to work, but nobody ever talks about how tough that choice can be.

Can anyone else relate?

Where is the time going?

2009-01-21T21:17:00.001-08:00

I love this photo of Kavanna and me!

Okay, this is truly one of the worst photos of me ever taken (and I can't believe I'm posting it on a public forum, ugh... but vanity shmanity)... but it's a great photo of Kavanna and really captures what she really looks like in a way that a lot of photos just don't. A lot of people have told me, "Oh, she's so much cuter in person than she is in photos," and here's a photo that truly captures her.

And by the way, what do I do with that comment about her being cuter in person? I decided to take it as a compliment. But, yikes, what do you say to that?

Sleeping in her stroller clutching a musical doll (it's supposed to be a worm that sings... what insane person decided that worms were cute???) and... a box of Johnson & Johnson lavender scented disposable baby washcloths. She decided that box was her favorite thing on earth and wouldn't let it go all day. I don't get it. I don't think I ever will get it. But sheesh, how cute is that?

Kavanna getting ready for a walk on another day, having replaced the singing worm and the box of disposable washcloths with two teddy bears.

Bliss is two soft teddy bears...

Kavanna loves her carseat, now.

Ariel... the artsy, beautiful, smart and funny big sister. I don't know why she's wearing this hat, since it's been 80 degrees for two weeks... but it looks good on her and when you're 15, style is everything.

How is it possible that we're hurtling towards the end of January? It seems as if I blink and two weeks whiz past. I guess time does fly when you're having fun - and chasing a 14 month old baby around the house, and playing pattycake, and having heart-to-heart talks with a 15 year old about boys and art and Life.

Life is good.

Happy 2009!!

2009-01-08T09:28:00.001-08:00

Kavanna is the happiest person I know!

The now 15 year old Ariel (gasp! gulp!) with my parents. Ariel's friends threw her a surprise party for her birthday. First they did a scavenger hunt that ended with presents and a card that said they were sorry they couldn't be there for her. She got home, went into her room... and they all jumped out at her. It was perfect. She has such wonderful friends.

Kavanna is not always happy...

But she IS always cute!

Happy 2009 everyone!!

I'll be back with more photos when I get my new camera. The old one broke, yikes.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

Is this a happy face, or what??

Ariel "Miss I-don't-need-glasses-but-I-like-the-geek-chic-look" and her baby sister Kavanna "Pebbles".

Christmas at a friend's house

Kavanna ponders what would happen if she pulls out that fascinating glinty object in Mommy's earlobe. Hmmmm....

Boxing Day with aunts, uncles and cousins

Grandma Lori and her friend Joy, looking joyful

Ice skating! Yes, it's been ridiculously cold here. No, not cold enough to form ice. This ice skating experience was courtesy of a man-made outdoor rink.

Punk princess on ice...

Kavanna's First Chanukah

2008-12-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

Or is it Hannukah? Or Hanukah? (no wonder there's no peace in the Middle East - we can't even agree on how to spell this holiday).

Kavanna enjoyed her first present-giving holiday. She loves having her Grandma (David's mom) here to visit.

How has having a baby changed our lives?

I have little time for luxuries such as updating our blog :) (Kavanna's taking a nap as I write)

I forget what it's like to maintain eye contact during a conversation, as I'm now always distracted and keeping an eye on Kavanna

Going to the movies is a thing of the past

And...

We are filled with so much love for this adorable little person

We are happier than we've ever been

We're learning more about ourselves and each other through the experience of parenting a baby

We don't need as much sleep as we thought we did

What's Kavanna doing that's amazing (this week):

When she's hungry she points to her mouth repeatedly as if to say, "Food. In here. Now."

She slept through the night. Twice.

She's running around really fast on those chubby little legs

She now has seven teeth, and more coming

She has the ability to make us smile and laugh with just one look

2008-12-16T17:57:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by Dale, who's Frances' father. Okay, here goes:

EIGHT FAVORITE TV SHOWS:

Dexter

Dexter reruns (yes, I like it that much!)

Countdown With Keith Olbermann

The Daily Show

Weeds

Law & Order

Law & Order SVU

Law & Order Criminal Intent

EIGHT THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:

Kissed and hugged Ariel and told her I love her

Kissed and hugged Kavanna and told her I love her

Kissed and hugged my husband and told him I love him

Had therapy sessions with patients

Listened to the rain (a rarity in So California)

Bought holiday gifts

Talked to my mother in law

Saw my friend Mei Ling's new daughter Li Na (on her blog)

EIGHT THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO:

Taking a walk each day with David & Kavanna

Seeing my friends

Visiting with my family

Returning to China

Our next family vacation to Europe

Living in a country governed by President Obama

Kavanna sleeping through the night

Reading a book while lounging near a pool (with sunscreen, of course!)

EIGHT FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:

The Jules Verne in Paris (it's in the Eiffel Tower; I first saw it when I lived there as a kid and was awed as I watched guests going up in the private elevator; I finally dined there on our honeymoon).

The Saloon in Chicago (where we first discussed getting married)

High Tea at any Penninsula or Four Seasons Hotels

Empress for dim sum

Our local sushi restaurant

Our local Chinese restaurant

Our local Indian restaurant

Mi Piace

EIGHT THINGS ON MY WISH LIST:

A happy, healthy, long life for both my daughters

A happy, healthy, long life with the love of my life, David

World peace

A healthier global environment

Our 401K and other stocks to be worth what they were a year ago

For the CCAA to speed up so that my friends who are waiting don't have to wait so long

Thicker hair (it falls out from stress and apparently I'm very stressed)

A two week vacation on a beautiful island

Friends in China

2008-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

Our friends Mei Ling and Gale are in China preparing to meet their daughter Li Na. We're so thrilled for them. Follow their journey at: www.little-li-na.blogspot.com.

I've been in technology hell all week. My iPhone, bluetooth and computer all crashed during the same week. I can't sync my contacts back into my phone. Agggghhhh.

I'll post photos of Miss K once I get organized.

Mommy Brain!

2008-12-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

As Dale pointed out, last weekend was our fourth weekend home, not the third. I seem to have lost the ability to think, focus, and remember many things. I keep misplacing things (very unusual for me) and feel generally goofy much of the time. What do these symptoms mean? I have "maternal preoccupation", otherwise known as "mommy brain".

Also, to answer Melissa's question in the comments, Kavanna is now 13 months old!

Our third weekend home...

2008-12-07T14:06:00.001-08:00

And it feels as if we've always been together.

Kavanna loves stuffed animals, especially her stuffed piglet.

She's always on the go!

But sometimes she'll stop for a moment and deign to let us take a picture.

"Want a cheerio?"

"Here, let me get another cheerio..."

"Hmmmm, which one do I want?"

"Yum, yum, yummy!"

I love this baby! And this photo!

In the mind of Kavanna...

2008-11-30T18:40:00.001-08:00

David tends to think that Kavanna's thoughts run along the lines of plotting world domination like Baby Stewie in Family Guy. I think he's wrong. Clearly, Kavanna cares very much about world peace (not domination)... not to mention sartorial splendor and music. She's well rounded (in every way).

"Here I am with Mommy's friend Lisa and her daughter Julia. They brought me the prettiest dress in the world, and very unique. I love to be stylish! Lisa's mommy got me a cool onesy with the letter "K" on it. I think it'll be part of my superhero outfit for when I fight Stewie and his plots for world domination."

"Mommy's friend Andy came to visit. I don't know about this guy. He has white fuzzy stuff on his face. What's up with that?"

"Did I mention he brought me a beautiful dress? It is very splendid and warm.. perfect for the holidays , or for when I have a celebration party after saving the world from Stewie. Thank you, Andy!"

"Plus Andy is a musician who plays in a band. So naturally he has to be way cool. He even taught me how to play the keyboards..."

"Mommy, Daddy... clear out the garage. I'm starting a band!"

"Andy's mommy came to visit me, too. Her name is Shirley and she's a jazz afficianado. I danced for her and it was fun, fun, fun."

Tony & Val and their kids Nick and Milana came over, too, but Mommy didn't get any photos. I was too busy running around. After all, we superheroes are very camera shy."

Kavanna's first Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

Kavanna is no longer walking. Nope, not walking at all. She's RUNNING. It was hard to capture her in motion, but here are some (non-blurry) attempts. Her party dress has a petticoat and side bustles. It's very Mary, Queen of Scots (perhaps not a good comparison, hmmmm). It's so unique and completely adorable. I bought it the week we got our referral and hoped it would fit. It does!

She's wearing white tights that I bought for Ariel in Scotland when she was six months old. The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in Ft. William, Scotland (apologies to Mark Twain) and I saved them. I didn't know I was saving them for Kavanna, but I was... and she wears them well.

First stop, Wendy & Jonathan's house for some pre-Thanksgiving visiting. Here's Kavanna with Aunt Wendy and Cousin Maddie, my wonderful friends

In Curt & Kathy's kitchen, with Kavanna's first Thanksgiving turkey (she loved it).

Chef Curt...

Curt and Kathy with David and Kavanna... We had a wonderful time! Thank you so much for having us over for Kavanna's first Thanksgiving!

We hope everyone had a terrific Thanksgiving. After being in China, where so many people have so little, I have even more appreciation and thanks for all that we have... I've always been very grateful for everything we have, and for the opportunity to pursue and achieve our dreams, but this year I'm more thankful than ever.

2008-11-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

That Kavanna is smiling in her bath is a miracle. She had a trauma at the pediatrician (all is well - she's developmentally on target, even a little ahead, and the doctor was really happy with her progress). She had four shots and... (gulp) nine vials of blood drawn. They need the blood to do a lot of testing to make sure her vaccines in China were effective and to check for various things. She screamed (if you'll pardon the expression) bloody murder. Poor baby.

After it was over she clutched her stuffed animal and clung to us... she now has six Barbie bandaids and horror of the children's lab... and she's made a quick recovery.

Home five days... and doing great!

2008-11-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

Here's Kavanna and the Big Girls (aka her posse). I have barely had time to get online. Somehow, playing with Kavanna, reading to her, changing her, feeding her, taking her on walks, sucks up nearly every minute of my day. And you know what? I love it!!

David is being a stay-at-home-dad right now. Watching him bond with her, comfort her, be with her, play with her is... well, it's really sexy!! He's been a great dad to Ariel and he's wonderful with Kavanna.

We have our pediatrician appointment today. Kavanna is still very congested but otherwise seems well.

We're home!!

2008-11-15T19:30:00.001-08:00

We woke up at 4am Friday to get to the airport in Guangzhou... after a short flight we had a seven hour layover in Hong Kong, and then a long flight home. I got sick on the way home. Very ironic, as I ate in local restaurants throughout China and was fine, but a ham sandwich on Cathay Pacific did me in. Needless to say it was a long, long flight. Feeling a lot better, now (thank goodness for the Pepto that I packed but did not need in China).

Kavanna is enjoying her new home!

Here she is in her carseat:

Here she is on a living room chair:

Here she is sleeping in her crib:

We returned home to news that there are many terrible fires in the greater L.A. area. My hearts go out to the people who lost their homes.

Thank you to everyone who posted comments and emailed during our travels. It meant a lot to us to hear from all of you. Thank you for following our journey to (and now with) Kavanna!

Red Couch Day... and walking

2008-11-12T04:03:00.000-08:00

"They want me to sit on that red couch and pose for photos. Sit still?? Ha!! I laugh at the thought!"

"And my friends laugh, too."

"Daddy and me... and Jeff and Annabel. I hate posing for photos."

"I'm crawling all over the place..."

"But I think I want to try walking. I'm going to try to stand up..."

"I'm up! I'm up on my feet!!" (and she walked all around the suite, but we couldn't catch it on the camera because we were trying to make sure she didn't tumble)

"And now I'm down again. Such fun."

We don't have digital photos of this, but today we went to the Guangzhou Zoo with our friends Karen, Jeff and Annabel. We saw tigers, elephants, zebras, deer, white rhinos, bears, flamingos monkeys, and lots of other animals. And then we came to a cage that held a most surprising sight:

Two small pomeranian dogs. Yes, dogs. Cute dogs. Dogs that looked as if they should be in Paris Hilton's purse, not in a zoo in China. They barked at us, seemingly begging us to take them home. In China, dogs live in people's homes... and also at the zoo!

2008-11-11T17:59:00.001-08:00

First of all, Ariel is feeling better!!! The medication worked and she's feeling almost completely well. Whew!!

Here are some photos from this morning at the White Swan.

Yesterday I stayed in the hotel with Ariel and David took Kavanna on the tour of some beautiful gardens. I think the most beautiful flower was Miss Kavanna.

Today we're off to the Guangzhou Zoo... and later, we're doing the famous Red Couch Photo!

A gift from the orphanage

2008-11-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

Kavanna was in foster care and her care was overseen by the Yulin Social Welfare Institute orphanage, which presented us with some gifts: a silver bracelet with her name engraved on it and a disc with 79 photos of her, which are priceless to us. Here are some of them.

The Yulin SWI. Kavanna was found outside the gates of this orphanage.

Isn't she cute?

Very bundled up!

Kavanna and her foster mom. She went into foster care when she was two months old. I've been wearing Kavanna in a sling ever since we got her, just like her foster mom did, and I think it's been crucial in terms of our bonding.

The foster families at the Yulin SWI.

Kavanna and two of her friends. Check out those very disparate hairstyles!!

Kavanna is a happy girl.

Kavanna and her foster mom again

Kavanna and her forever family (minus one sister, who took the photo)

2008-11-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

Here are some of Ariel's photos of China:

Motoring around Beijing...

How cute are these pandas? Seriously.

The face of new China...

And old China...

At the cloissoine factory.

The calligrapher at Chen Family Temple inscribing Kavanna's name in Mandarin and in English

No new photos today. Ariel's cold turned into a fever so I'm staying in the hotel room with her. David and Kavanna are off to the Yuntai Gardens and then the pearl market.

Luckily there is a health clinic for hotel guests on the third floor. The doctors prescribe both Western and Eastern medication. Ariel had an antibiotic last night and she's feeling a little better, but still too poorly to go out. Our suite at The White Swan is beautiful, so she's very comfortable... she took a bath in the spa tub and she's on the mend.

Our travel buddy Karen described Shamian Island as "Disneyland", which is a very apt description. It's quite sanitized and very Western in appearance. We're thankful for our stay in Nanning, which was more of an authentic experience. China blends old traditions with a changing world... on the streets you can see ancient, wrinkled faces of old people who seemingly stepped out of the past, wearing Mao jackets and somewhat stern expressions (until they break into unexpected smiles and reveal gold or uneven teeth)... and the faces of new China, a younger generations talking on cell phones and wearing the latest fashions.

Our last day in People's Park we saw a group of teenagers who were sitting in a circle and playing truth or dare. They dared each other to do things like stand on one leg in the middle of their circle or run backwards around the temple. Very sweet and much more innocent than the kids here. They wanted photos with us and Kavanna and spoke to us in English ("Welcome to China," said one young guy).

We return home on the 14th. We already can't wait to come back to China. It's unlike any place we've been... staggeringly poor amidst incredible wealth... enormous cities that stretch forever... and people who for the most part are warm and welcoming. I feel sad that we're taking Kavanna away from her homeland, but we will definitely be coming back as much as possible. I love China!!

2008-11-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

First night in Guangzhou... a city of such size it's nearly impossible to describe. Huge apartment buildings sprawl as far as the eye can see... over 19 million people live here.

At the Chen Family Temple. Beautiful!! (the temple, and Kavanna's smile, which she breaks into immediately AFTER a photo is taken, so you'll have to trust me that she's got a huge, mostly toothless grin)

Nina, Kavanna and Ariel at our GWCA Family birthday party at Lucy's

Some of our GWCA group... that's our new friends Jeff and Karen next to David, and their daughter Annabel in the stroller. We all finally met Lynn (far left) and Rochelle and Erin, (second and third from the right) who we know from our online Yahoo group. They get their babies today!!

With our terrific guide, Grace.

Ahhhh, here's the smile we see almost all day long. Happy Kavanna!!!

A breakthrough day!

2008-11-07T05:26:00.001-08:00

Listening to Ariel's music (those aren't headphones; they are ear muffs that Ariel found at Wal-Mart and had to have them. Kavanna liked them, too!

Kavanna's thoughtful and still uncertain expression.

Sisters!

Happy in People's Park

Happy sisters!!
When I wrote that Kavanna was a "velcro baby" I wasn't kidding. For three days she's had to be right next to me, practically fused to me at all times. She'd scream when David and Ariel tried to hold her. The mere idea of putting her in a highchair was ludicrous. No way! I couldn't put her down for a moment. I've been wearing her in a sling all day and she's been sleeping on me all night.

Yesterday she began to laugh. Today the families had a pizza party (yes, there is Pizza Hut in Nanning, China - I've never had it at home but it sure is yummy in China) and she crawled to the other kids, which was a miracle. And then... she got up and took a few unsteady steps!!

She even reached for Daddy and for Ariel. Her personality is really starting to shine through. She's a contemplative, thoughtful, goofy and happy baby!! We haven't been able to capture her giddy cuteness on camera, yet, but we'll keep trying.

2008-11-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we traveled to a Buddhist Temple at a park overlooking Nanning. Kavanna wouldn't let anyone else touch her or hold her. She was inconsolable and anxious, as she's been since she was put into our arms on Monday afternoon. On our daily walk around People's Park, however, David taught her how to "high-five" and they "high-fived" their way around the park. Kavanna burst into laughter and we got to see her smiley, happy self. She's slowly coming out of her shell as she trusts us.

The Chinese people have been lovely, gathering around us when we walk in the park and waving, smiling, giving us thumbs up about Kavanna. We've been trying out our rudimentary Mandarin and some of them speak a bit of English, so we've been able to communicate a little bit. We've gotten some disapproving (we think) stares from older people, but generally the response has been warm and positive and interested.

One more day in Nanning and then it's off to Guangzhou.

Kavanna and Ariel have a sisterly moment

Swarms of koi, which can be found at the lake.

Ariel at the Buddhist Temple

Three of the five Buddhas. They are each about 25 feet tall and stunning.

Nina and Kavanna lighting candles outside the temple of the Goddess of Mercy

An extremely tall tower at the park

View from the tower

2008-11-05T14:28:00.000-08:00

Sometime during the second night (okay, midnight to be precise) Kavanna woke up and decided that I was her mommy and she had to be near me at every moment. Literally every moment. She slept the rest of the night sprawled on top of me. I had to take a shower with the curtain open and David holding her up, so that she could see me. She outstretched her arms, screaming "Mama, Mama." I don't know if she can walk or even stand, since every time I try to put her down she cries. She's on my lap as I write this. She's a "velcro baby"! It's a great feeling when she holds out her arms to me and says, "Mama." What a difference a day can make!

David has been able to hold her for a couple of minutes here and there. He made her laugh when he did a funny walk for her. Ariel made her giggle, too. We're starting to see Kavanna's personality emerge. Right now we just want to give her love and comfort and make her feel safe.

Ariel's self-portrait at The People's Park.

Here are some views (taken by Ariel) of the lush and beautiful People's Park. We see a lot of people with babies (lots of girl babies", too). Old men do tai chi or play mah jong or chess. Some people bring music and dance. Others play music and sing. In L.A. the only people who dance and sing in a public park are probably schizophrenic or homeless. Or two years old. Here it's part of everyday life, a life that is strikingly different from ours in pace and contentment. These people seem relaxed and happy.

The "waves" in the water are actually waves of green slime. Icky, but beautiful.

Nina and her two girls!!

Earlier our group made an excursion to Wal-Mart for baby supplies.

"I fell asleep on the tour bus. I'm not on a bus anymore. Hmmmmm..."

"Where am I? Where? Am? I? What is this strange and bewildering place?"

"I'm in Mommy's arms. I have my teddy bear. Oh, I think I'm okay."

We'd never been to a Wal-Mart and it was an interesting experience. Here are some photos of us and some members of our travel group:

2008-11-04T13:26:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the poor quality iPhone photos... we'll have better ones today!

Look at what a delicious pudge she is!

At the play area in the waiting room at the Civil Affairs Office, where we made it official. She's ours!

Kavanna likes congee, and Cheerios, and noodles

Kavanna had a rough day. She's congested, with a slight fever and she wasn't feeling well, physically or emotionally. We think she realized that she wasn't going back to her foster mom and began to grieve. She called for"mama" all day and sobbed... it was heartbreaking. We hope today is a better day for her.

Kavanna Day!!

2008-11-03T03:40:00.000-08:00

We have Kavanna!! The hours crawled until it was time to leave for the Civil Affairs Office. Once we got there we went into a big room and waited for the babies, who were across the hallway. Someone opened the door to that room and I saw Kavanna sitting on the lap of a nanny. Then the nannies brought the babies in and stood in a line. I was waving to Kavanna, who looked rather confused and reflective. She was quiet for a moment after they placed her into our arms and then she began to protest. Loudly. She screamed and cried until she was sweaty and worn out, and then she screamed some more. She stopped crying after we gave her a teddy bear. She did very well for the next couple of hours, and then began to call out for her mama, which broke my heart. Poor baby, her world has turned upside down... all we can do is give her comfort and love.

David sang to her and she fell asleep. He sang The Year Of The Cat, which I think is a dreadful song but right now it's my favorite song because it's very soothing to my daughter. And yes, it's highly cool to be able to write, "my daughter."

She is adorable and beautiful. She has a bright, inquisitive, smart look in her eyes. And she's also chubbilicious baby, with chunky thighs and chubby cheeks. She is absolutely precious and we are completely in love!!

"Who is this strange woman? Get me away from her. Help!!!!"

These people gave me a soft teddy bear. Maybe they're okay, after all.

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt...

Mommy and Kavanna

Daddy and Kavanna

About eight hours to go...

2008-11-02T15:28:00.001-08:00

View from our hotel suite in Nanning

After three years, and almost three months, the wait is down to fewer than eight hours. We arrived in Nanning yesterday, a "small" city of about 6 million people and much different than Beijing. We're in the sub-tropics and it seems to rain daily, which I love, coming from the relentless sunshine of Los Angeles. Tiny shops line all the streets, some no bigger than a closet. As in Beijing, some people cook huge pots of noodle soup in the streets or in a tiny storefront and slurp them up, talking and socializing with each other. People stare at us a lot. Ariel loves that, because she's a total rock star here.

Crossing a street is a life-risking adventure. You have to muster up the belief that you can get to the other side without being smacked by a car, bus, bicycle or moped. There's a saying, "There are no athiests in foxholes." Well, you can't be an athiest and cross a street in China. ("Please God, let me get to the other side of the street").

I have video footage of our trip but haven't been able to download it for some reason.

Our hotel is funky, water-stained, filthy carpet, intermittent internet, and beds that may just be made of bricks. But we love it!! You know why?

THERE'S A CRIB IN OUR ROOM!!!!

I'm strangely peaceful right now. Also a little keyed up with excitement. We leave the hotel in seven hours.

Normally I have an ability to create dire scenarios in my mind (the bus from the orphanage will break down! the CCAA will abruptly close all adoptions! I will be stuck in an elevator!) but not today. Today I am imagining the moment when they call our names and someone places Kavanna into our outstretched arms and open hearts.

Tianmen Square, Forbidden City, The Great Wall

2008-11-01T11:53:00.001-07:00

It's 3am in China and I can't sleep!! We leave for the airport in a couple of hours to fly to Nanning. Our group was told yesterday that we get the babies at 3pm on Monday instead of 2:30. What?? We have to wait an extra half an hour?? Noooooooooooooo.

Here are some photos from today. After our tour we drove by the Olympic stadiums, the "birds nest" and the water stadium. I know there's a name for it, and a nickname, but I can't think of it. Did I mention it's 3am and my synapses are not firing??

Kavanna Day is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

On our way up The Great Wall. This gives you some idea of how steep the wall is in places - especially the places where we climbed it!

David in one of the guard towers. We climbed from the very bottom, which you can see far below.

The view from one of the towers at The Great Wall. The steps are very steep, nearly (and I'm not exaggerating) vertical and very uneven. Some are a foot high, some are a few inches high. It was quite a challenge to climb the wall, and exhilarating!!

A tiny portion of the (enormous) Forbidden City

Monks at The Forbidden City

The military policeman stand very still (like the guards at Buckingham Palace). You're not supposed to photograph them, but...

A million people can fit into Tianamen Square. I think a million people were there yesterday.

Ariel's photos from china

2008-10-31T12:19:00.001-07:00

You can see from this post and the next who is the photographer of the family! Here are some of Ariel's photos from today.

These men were playing unusual (for us) instruments and singing patriotic songs.

Some of the translations are very funny.

One of the buildings at the Summer Palace

More photos from today in the next post...

Temple of Heaven, Summer Palace, Pandas at the zoo

2008-10-31T11:59:00.001-07:00

We absolutely love China!! The sights, the people, the energy, the history... everything.

I can't connect my camera to the computer so these photos are all from David's iPhone (hence the slightly fuzzy quality).

Two days until Kavanna Day!!

Walking towards the Temple of Heaven

David standing by a juniper tree that is over 300 years old. In China, it's a mere youth of a tree.

Part of the Temple of Heaven

Ariel outside the boat we took to cross the lake at the Summer Palace. The entire lake was manmade, and they used what they dug up to create a hill, where they placed another temple for the use of the Empress.

It's hard to capture the scope of the Summer Palace in a photo. It's huge and beautiful, and words don't do it justice. Plus it's 3am in China and my brain is unable to come up with words more descriptive that "huge" and "beautiful".

the Summer Palace

Pandas spend 10 hours per day eating. They move very slowly. And they're very CUTE!

First night in Beijing

2008-10-30T10:04:00.001-07:00

Why is Ariel smiling? She had a great dinner but managed to forgo the braised donkey, the bullfrog, the fish heads and the rabbit. We chose a restaurant a few blocks from the hotel and had a very delicious meal. The bill was 80 yuan, about 13 dollars!

Beijing street. The stores were closed but street vendors were out selling noodles, candles, clothes, purses in front of the stores.

We ventured down an alley, where people were cooking noodles outside tiny stores. Behind David, a lady was sitting at a desk with three very old phones on them. Maybe she was selling phone calls (definitely she was not selling phones).

Tiny cars with three wheels. They make Smart cars look big!

Hotel lobby

Another thing about being in China... it's like being in a zoo. Being an animal inside the zoo. People stare and laugh (yes, laugh!). Yesterday a few older men on bicycles pointed at us and started to shout to each other, then they all cracked up. Another man came up behind David and stood about a foot away, looking at him as if he were a circus curiosity. Mostly it's Ariel and me who seem to be the oddities. As two tall Americans with blonde and red hair, we definitely look different! Still, it gives me more appreciation for the pandas we're going to see later today at the zoo.

I woke up at 1:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. I slept two hours on the plane. It's possible I can actually function without sleep, which means I'm ready for Kavanna!!

Three days until Kavanna Day!!

A few quick impressions of Beijing

2008-10-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

Or rather, of our hotel, the Poly Plaza, which is funky but fine. We're about to go out and investigate the city but here are some observations so far:

David checked out the gym, which is a room the size of a closet and consists of two pieces of equipment (a treadmill and a pulley machine). The gym was overseen by a number of employees - all of whom were smoking.

Among the delicacies available from room service: fried pig nut (yes, you read that correctly), black fungus in vinegar, and tingle-and-hot-sausage. We don't know what tingle is. And, we don't want to know.

We're in China!!

2008-10-29T23:34:00.000-07:00

Our 15 hour flight to Hong Kong was 14 hours and it went fast (and let me recommend Cathay Pacific, which had great service and a very nice plane). The flight to Beijing was smooth. Grace from GWCA picked us up, along with our travel buddies Karen and Jeff.

We took No Jet Lag (bought it from Magellan's) and it seems to have worked. We are loopy but doing pretty well.

We're HERE!! We're going to settle in, then go out and take photos, which we'll post later.

Waiting to go to the airport

2008-10-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

The car picks us up in an hour, then it's off to the airport and our flight to Hong Kong (and then to Beijing). Whooo-hoooo, we're so excited!!

Ariel is also excited. She decided that a long trip to China is pretty cool, after all. We're hoping she feels the same about her baby sister!

It's a miracle!!

2008-10-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

Fluffy rug where the crib will eventually go.

The bag is going to China and the box is from a portable DVD player is being charged. Kavanna will have a cozy corner to play in.

The master bath was going to be a nightmare to babyproof... so we just gated it off. Maybe we're kidding ourselves but it seemed like a good solution.

A huge THANK YOU for all the wonderful responses I got from my last post. It felt much better knowing I was not alone, and I very much appreciate all the kind, comforting and supportive comments!!

I've recovered from my temporary insanity (or maybe it's the sanity that's temporary, I'm not sure). We are packed. Overpacked, but packed (how can one 19 pound person need so much stuff??). Kavanna's room is cleared of clutter. Our house is babyproofed.

We're ready to go. We leave day after tomorrow!!

Nervous

2008-10-24T19:44:00.001-07:00

We're leaving in FOUR DAYS and I'm a nervous wreck. I'm waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Where does that expression come from, anyway? From where are these metaphorical or suppositional shoes dropping? And why is it a bad thing? Are the shoes going to, say... drop on one's head and cause brain tauma? But I digress.

I'm worried about everything. Is this really going to happen? Really? I remember going home from the hospital after giving birth to Ariel and thinking, "These people are actually letting me take her home? Don't they know I don't have a clue about this mothering thing?"

So I fear the CCAA will say, "We've made a mistake. You can't adopt the happiest baby in China. We're giving you a 13 year old boy, instead." (not that there's anything wrong with 13 year old boys, mind you).

I imagine everyone else who's four days away from travel is ecstatic and at peace. Am I the only one who is losing her mind? It would be a good thing for a shoe to drop on my head. Maybe the ensuing brain trauma would snap me out of this anxious state!!

Got our itinerary!

2008-10-23T14:49:00.001-07:00

October 28/29 Depart LAX (our flight leaves at 1:20am on Kavanna's birthday!)

October 30 Arrive Beijing

October 31 Tour of Summer Palace, Panda Exhibit at the zoo, etc. Acrobat show that night.

November 1 Tour of The Great Wall, Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square

November 2 Fly to Nanning (at 7:40am, cringe)

November 3 KAVANNA DAY!!!

November 4 Civil Affairs Office for Adoption Registration

November 5 Shopping

November 6 Sightseeing tour to the Wen Wu Yuan (no clue what that is but we'll find out!)

November 7 Get Kavanna's passport

November 8 Fly to Guanzhou (8:15am, cringe)

November 9 Tour of Chen Family Temple

November 10 Kavanna's medical examination and visa photo

November 11 Tour to Yuntai Park

November 12 (open)

November 13 American Consulate

November 14 Return home as a family of four!!

We are SOOOO EXCITED! We're almost there, Kavanna!!

WE LEAVE IN A WEEK!!

2008-10-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

Wow (excited)

Wow (freaked)

Wow (VERY excited)

Gulp. (very freaked)

Ariel's first Homecoming Dance

2008-10-19T12:06:00.001-07:00

Ariel bought this dress at a vintage clothing store and had it tailored. She is the only person in the world who could make this dress look good!!

Ariel strikes a (fuzzy) pose!!

Ariel is missing Halloween (her favorite holiday) and the had to bow out of the school play because we're going to China. Thank goodness she didn't miss the Homecoming Dance!!

We leave in nine days. Whooo-hoooo. Thanks everyone for all the suggestions! Feel free to keep them coming!

2008-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Travel arrangements? Booked.
Paperwork? Ready.
Diapers? Bottles? Baby clothes? Have 'em.
Formula? Got it.
Packing? Um.... in progress.
Travel insurance? Bought it.
Car seats? Ready to be installed.
Medication for trip? Got it.
Credit cards? They know we're going to China.
Internet? They know we're going to China.
Skype? Downloaded.
Cheerios & protein bars? We'll buy them right before we leave.
My state of mind? Calm. Excited. Anxious. Antsy. Confident.

What am I missing?

Two weeks and counting...

2008-10-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. We leave two weeks from today!! Well, we technically leave on the 29th (Kavanna's birthday!) since our plane leaves at 1:20 in the morning. But we're arriving at the airport on Tuesday night, so I'm going with that.

Suddenly it seems there are tons of things to do. I need to get travel insurance, travel medical insurance. I need to figure out how to get a ton of necessary (or so I think) items into our suitcases. I need to buy Cheerios and soy formula (we're bringing both soy and regular and will see what Miss K likes best). We have to call the credit card companies and AT&T and tell them we'll be in China. And... and... and... so much else.

I'm beyond ready to travel. And I also feel woefully unprepared!

2008-10-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

"My mommy is weird. Ha ha."

You know how some people hate hearing their voices recorded because they don't sound like themselves? Well, once I start talking while simultaneously holding a camcorder in my hands, I apparently turn into a big giant dork. I keep thinking, "Who is that screechy, high-pitched strange woman? Oh... c'est moi." Well, I guess I'll just keep being goofy because I'm not going to stop recording our journey. Is this a blogging phenomenon or is it just me?

Dim Sum

2008-10-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

We've been getting together with other waiting parents in our area for a few years... some of us are no longer waiting... It was so great to see all the babies (and big kids, too) at our tables. Thanks to Di and Dave for organizing the event - and to all the new moms and dad who let us hold their beautiful babies!

Testing my new Flip camcorder

2008-10-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

I love this thing. It's tiny and portable... and you plug it right into the computer to download video. Soon I'll be using it to film Miss Kavanna!! It's completely unedited (sorry) but it's my practice run.

Weird Freudian thing: when I start talking I say we're in "Ariel's room" but it's obviously Kavanna's room!! What's going on with my mind? Oh, I know. It's already in China.

We got our consulate appointment!!!

2008-10-09T08:26:00.001-07:00

(this is the Chinese symbol for happiness)

We're going to Beijing early so we're leaving Wednesday, October 29th

We arrive in Beijing on October 30th.

We fly to Nanning on November 2nd (the 6th anniversary of my first date with David)

We're meeting Kavanna on November 3rd or 4th!!

The four of us return home on November 14th.

I'M SO EXCITED!!

Can't sleep...

2008-10-08T23:37:00.000-07:00

Although she doesn't know it, Kavanna is waiting for us, just as we're waiting for her. She's on the other side of the world, about 6000 miles away and soon (ahem, a relative term) we'll be together.

I had to put our happy girl at the top of the blog. I've been a frustrated mommy of late (feeling powerless is not fun) and looking at her face makes me smile. I hope she makes you smile, too.

Today Di and I got to meet our friend Val's daughter Milana, who she just adopted from Russia. Milana is such a sweet, active, adorable little girl. It was really striking what a perfect fit Milana is for Val and her family... There's a Hebrew word called b'sheret, which loosely translated means soulmate - but it doesn't have to be romantic. It can also mean "meant to be." Milana is definitely meant for Val... and I know in my heart that Kavanna is meant for us... it is b'sheret that we belong together.

For everyone out there who's still waiting... for referral, CA, TA or an I-171H or 1-800 or anything... I feel your pain. May you be united with your b'sheret very soon. Big hugs to all!!

The mystery of the missing consulate appointments

2008-10-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: major pity party to follow

This is a map of the Guangdong Province of China. Guangzhou is the capital city. The American Consulate is in Guangzhou. Someone in the consulate is in charge of issuing consulate appointments. That person is making my life (and those of my travel buddies) a nightmare of interminable waiting.

We got our referral over five weeks ago. Others who got their referrals on the same date will be leaving in a week or two. I admit publicly to more than a twinge of outright jealousy every time I read about someone's happy travel news. I'm happy for them, and also really envious.

Looking at Kavanna's adorable photos I feel almost a physical need to pick her up and hold her and be with her, and I'm thousands of miles away with little idea of when (WHEN????????) we'll travel.

After three years of waiting for our referral we're still... waiting. It's torture.

Please help

2008-10-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

The following is from an FCC email I received this morning. This petition was created by my wonderful friends Di & Dave who are waiting for Sophie. Please read the letter and sign the petition. Thanks!

Dear FCC-SoCal Families:

I am writing on behalf of the FCC-SoCal Board of Directors to urge your participation in a national effort to help our waiting families. Today, instead of the “red thread” of adoption bringing parents and children together, the tangled “red tape” of government bureaucracy may be keeping parents and children apart. We join with the Joint Council on International Children’s Services and Adoption for All: The Fairness for Families Petition in this national effort to affect the necessary legislative and regulatory changes that will keep our waiting families on course on their adoption journeys. (The JCICS is one of the oldest and largest child welfare agencies in the U.S. and is a “lead voice in intercountry children’s services.” Go to www.jcics.org/I600A.htm.) The Adoption for All Petition is being organized by FCC-SoCal waiting parents Dianne Pearce and David Yurkovich (see below).

The situation is somewhat complicated, but here is a summary in a nutshell. In April 2008, the Hague Adoption Convention went into effect. The U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Service (USCIS) implemented new adoption regulations, which include many changes, including new paperwork requirements. The new regulations apply to adoptions from China (and other Hague countries) UNLESS a Form I-600 or I-600A was filed before April 1, 2008. USCIS materials indicate that these I-600A families will be “grandfathered” in.

Here’s where the problem arises. For families that filed the I-600A before April 1, 2008 (known as “Transition Cases”), their approved I-600A is valid for 18 months. Families may apply for only one additional 18-month extension (for a total of 36 months). Notwithstanding the extension, more than 10,000 families may be unable to complete their adoptions within that 36 month period, potentially interfering with their ability to adopt. We are petitioning to ask the USCIS to allow an additional 18-month extension (which they currently will not do).

Without an additional extension, families would be required to start the federal paperwork over again (using the new I-800 procedures). As a result, waiting families may be required to acquire a new Hague-compliant Home Study (adhering to China’s new parent qualifications). They may also have to switch to a new Hague-accredited agency. Waiting families could also “lose their place in line” depending on how the other countries treat the Transition Cases. (For more detailed information, go to www.jcics.org/I600APosition.htm.)

FCC-SoCal will be contacting our Congressional representatives and spreading the word to other FCC chapters nationwide. Get involved and help to bring the waiting children and waiting parents together without further complications and delay. FCC-SoCal member families alone have the potential of sending hundreds of messages advocating for these adoptive families to be. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Jeri Okamoto Floyd, President
FCC-Southern California

Relief

2008-10-07T06:56:00.001-07:00

This is an Assyrian "relief"... which is meant to be a play on words and communicate the idea that today I feel relief from some of my stress. As you can tell, I am in a goofy post-hyper-anxious mood. Today it's down to mere anxiety.

UPDATE: our agency confirmed with the US consulate that the lack of hyphen will not be a problem. Yayyyyyy!!

Now w're waiting for our consulate appointment, travel info... etc.

ARIEL UPDATE: She has a "jack and jill" bathroom which connects to Kavanna's room. When I told her the babyproofers would be babyproofing the bathroom she said, "Why? She's not coming into MY bathroom."

Sigh. I wisely (I think) said nothing.

We recently had Chinese take-out. She refused to eat anything but rice, informing us, "I hate Chinese food."

Sigh. It's tough to be fourteen years old, princess of the kingdom, and be afraid that you're going to be usurped by a baby. I completely get it. She won't be truly reassured until we're in China and she experiences reality... which I hope is soon!!

Stressed

2008-10-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

We got our referral almost five weeks ago and for most of that time I've been on Cloud Nine.

We'll probably be leaving in another four weeks and I'm really stressed.

When will we leave? The wait seems interminable and we keep being held up by various things out of our control (the Guangzhou trade fair, the October holiday, etc, etc.).

How will our trip affect Ariel, since she'll be missing so much school?

My Chinese visa came back but my surname (which is hyphenated on my passport) was not hyphenated. I've been in touch with my agency, which is trying to figure out whether or not this will be an issue. In the meantime I'm worried that I won't be allowed into China because the visa isn't right.

Ariel is not happy about the addition to our family. I hope that once Kavanna is a reality and Ariel sees she's not marginalized by her new sister, that she'll be happier, but in the meantime I have a resentful teenager on my hands. I feel for her and I also feel so helpless.

I can't stop worrying about everything.

Is this a typical reaction, five weeks post referral and four weeks prior to travel?

Travel Approval!!

2008-09-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to kiss this face!!!!

I'm thrilled to announce we got our TA today, which means we're one step closer to travel. The consulate is closed all this week so we won't be able to apply for our consulate appointment until next week. What would this process be without more delays?? Still, we're getting closer... we're coming for you, Kavanna!!

Also, congratulations to everyone who received a referral this week! I'm so happy for all of you!

An amazing gift...

2008-09-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

I've written before how wonderful it has been to start this journey towards our daughter and find new friends along the way. One of them is PIPO, who made - yes, made, as in sewed - - this beautiful quilt for Kavanna. The borders match the nursery colors perfectly. Gorgeous!

She also sent Ariel a beautiful frame that has the word "Sisters" etched in the glass.

And that's not even all! Yes,there's more! She created handmade personalized cards and wrote lovely notes to both Ariel and Kavanna.

David and I were so moved to receive these beautiful gifts. Thank you, PIPO!!!

Newborn photo

2008-09-24T15:49:00.001-07:00

Thank you for all the support and condolences during this difficult time. The many comments and emails have meant so much to David's family. Jerry's memorial service today celebrated his life and was full of laughter and memories.

So as we say goodbye to Jerry, who will live on in our thoughts... we welcome a new life into our hearts. Here's a photo of Kavanna as a newborn - it's her finding ad. Many thanks to Brian Stuy from Research China who located this ad for us.

2008-09-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

My father in law, Jerry, lost his battle with Multiple Sclerosis last night... He was diagnosed late in life, at age 60, and quickly lost the use of his legs, so he's been in a nursing home for the last fifteen years. In the last year the disease progressed very aggressively. He lost the use of one arm, then the other... and recently could not swallow. He faced this condition very bravely and with dignity. He moved to hospice care last week and took a sudden turn for the worse.

David took an early flight to Chicago yesterday and was able to be with his dad before the end. Jerry loved Ariel so much... and when he got the photo of Kavanna two weeks ago, he kissed it. We will miss him terribly.

Care package!

2008-09-20T14:18:00.001-07:00

Thank you to Ann at Red Thread China for putting together such a great care package for Kavanna! It includes:

Family photos

A translated letter (David's story for Kavanna)

A blanket

A soft toy (coincidentally, I love elephants, which Ann did not know when she put this together)

Pajamas

Candies for the foster family

Tea for the foster family and the orphanage workers

A big embroidered bag to put all of Kavanna's things in when she is brought to us

We hope to leave six weeks from today (November 1st)!!

2008-09-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

We had no idea when we started this journey towards Kavanna that we'd discover such a wonderful community of families who are adopting or have adopted from China (and other countries). We're grateful for the support and friendship of all our new friends, some of whom live nearby and others a world apart. One special family is Ford and Alyson, who are in China now with their beautiful new daughter Alyzabeth An. Stop by and share the joy.

A surprise gift from China...

2008-09-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

"Look! I'm standing up all by myself!"

How cute is this face? I have to resist diving onto the computer monitor to give those cheeks a kiss!

Our agency has been in contact with Beijing to make sure this milk is safe! It's so hard hearing about tainted milk and seeing her drink from her bottle. Check out her wheels, too!

"I'm a happy girl. Life is grand!"

"Check out my hair. I'm stylin', baby. I'm a Pebbles baby (Flinstones were my favorite cartoon).

Kavanna and her foster mom, to whom we are so grateful!

We're sending two care packages to Kavanna... one through our agency and another through Ann atwww.redthreadchina.com.

Today Ann sent me (as a surprise, totally unexpectedly), NEW PHOTOS of Kavanna, all taken in the last couple of months. I'm so moved and awestruck and grateful that Ann would give us this priceless gift.

She also found out that Kavanna has a best friend and neighbor who is also going to be adopted by an American family... we actually know this family, having met online and discovered that we're with the same agency and the same travel group. That means that Kavanna and her friend will be able to spend time together in China, which will hopefully help with the transition.

WOW. I am moved and amazed by Ann's sweetness and thoughtfulness.

Enjoy the new photos of Miss Kavanna Lin Rocklin.

David's story for Kavanna

2008-09-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

One day, before you came to the world, a mommy, a daddy and a daughter (named Ariel) who lived far, far away looked up from what they were doing and asked each other what they were thinking about.

"Someone," said the mommy.

"Me, too," said the daddy. "What sort of someone were you thinking about?"

"Someone happy," said Ariel.

"And full of fun," said the daddy.

"And oh, so beautiful," said the mommy.

"With a smile brighter than all the stars," said the daddy.

And they realized they had been thinking of the same person!

"But who is she?" said the mommy.

"Where is she?" said the daddy.

"How do we find her in this big world?" they all wondered.

And they thought about it and talked about it and dreamed about it, until one day, they found the answer.

A journey! An adventure!

"But wait," said the mommy. "We could journey across the street or across the world, but how will we know her?"

"The red thread," said the daddy. "One end of it is touching her..."

"So the other must be touching us," said the mother.

"Find the red thread and there she will be," said the daddy.

So they looked in the air.

And in each other's hair.

They looked here and there.

They even checked the lair…

of a cuddly panda bear!

They looked for days and weeks and months and even years. Then one day there was a knock at the door. When they opened it, they found a package tied with a bright red thread!

They opened it and there was a picture of the happiest, most beautiful, and full-of-fun baby girl they had ever seen.

"There she is," said the mommy.

"There she is," said the daddy.

"There she is," said Ariel.

She lives in Guangxi.

Her name is Lin Yingyong.

And we will call her Kavanna, which means to live with joy... because that is what we all will do."

And guess what? That baby... is you!!

2008-09-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

Last week we went to the Getty Museum, one of our favorite things to do on a Sunday. The building itself is a work of art, and it has some decent Impressionist paintings, but not enough of my favorite, Renoir... It's also a wonderful place to bring a picnic and enjoy the view and the sun. This Sunday we visited the Getty Villa and felt as if we were stepping back in time as we gazed at mummy portraits and at Greek and Roman statues... I wonder if any present-day sculptors could reproduce such evocative and lifelike images, or if it's an art lost to time? On the way home we stopped for a late lunch at the place where we were married... all in all, a perfect day.

We missed Kavanna, who was sleeping through the night as we looked at art... Sweet dreams, Kavanna!

Where in the world is Kavanna?

2008-09-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

Kavanna is living in the Guangxi province of China, which is in southern China. It's known as the "green bright pearl" of China because it is so lush and beautiful. We'll spend a few days in Beijing (to the north) and then meet Kavanna in Nanning. From there we'll fly to Guangzhou, where Kavanna will officially become a member of the family. We hope to leave in about seven weeks!

Smile!

2008-09-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

Looking at Kavanna makes me smile... and beam... and laugh with delight. And as Ellen, who's waiting for Flora, reminded me, this photo belongs at the top of every post.

We got our renewed I-171H yesterday. Hurray!! One last thing for which I do not have to wait!

A few weeks ago I posted on RQ that after this Long Wait, I wanted immediate gratification from now on, for everything. I think everyone who survives The Long Wait for China deserves never to have to wait again. I jest (but only sort of).

Welcome Song...

2008-09-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

We got Kavanna's translated growth report today. The mystery of the meaning of her name is solved!

Yingyong means "Welcome Song"...

That makes me smile. Then again, since last Tuesday, all I do is smile!

Kavanna's cool new stuff

2008-09-08T11:08:00.000-07:00

A stroller that gives her a higher view of the world... a very versatile highchair... and one of the world's safest carseats. We waited three years and one month to go shopping for these particular items... and wow, did it feel good!!!!!!!

The mind of a...OUR...baby...

2008-09-06T07:13:00.001-07:00

What is Kavanna thinking?

1. How would I go about securing world peace, given that I am an infant and have limited powers to effect change in the international stage?

2. About Einstein's theory of relativity... Hmmmm....

3. What's for lunch? Congee?

4. What is that sound? Oh, it's my tummy. It's rumbling. (see #3)

5. You looking at me? Huh? You there. You looking at me?

6. And with thanks to Erin, who also just got her referral for her daughter: My mommy and daddy and my big sister Ariel are coming to get me soon... Yay, they're coming for me soon!!

2008-09-05T10:56:00.001-07:00

We received Kavanna's medical report yesterday and emailed it to an international adoption specialist who proclaimed her to be in excellent health! We were very impressed that he got back to us in a matter of hours.

When we read the paperwork we realized her Chinese name is Yingyong, not Ying Yong.

We signed the Acceptance Letter for the CCAA and sent it via FedEx this morning!

Head circumference: 50th percentile

Height: 50th percentile

Weight: 90th percentile

90th percentile! Kavanna is one chubbilicious baby (thank goodness!). Ooooooh, I just want to pick her up and kiss those adorable cheeks!